I really don’t know why. Why I’m writing this and why I’m doing it in a language it’s not my mother tongue. Maybe it’s because being iddle makes feel the need to resume my love for this language. Or maybe there’s a hidden reason: a way to distance myself from what I feel, from this obsessive thought. I recognise it’s an idea I’ve been pondering on long time ago, but it’s been always more a possibility than an option. But now, a few weeks ago, it has become an option, a very real one. So real that I’m asking about it and looking for advice and making plans to carry it on. I’m not sure if I’ll do it in the end because it’s so dificult as scaring but, as a family doctor I’m used to live with unceartainty (about my future, about my patients, about everything). So even when it’s makes me feel anxiously and lost, I can stop thinking about it.
Oh my god, it’s sound so mysterious… and it’s so simple in fact. I don’t want to talk too much about it because I don’t want to spoil it but who knows, maybe this is another odd entry in a stupid blog written by a fool girl. We’ll see.