In a roller coaster. One day at the top and the next at the bottom, always changing; feeling unsure about the velocity I’m moving, always too fast or too slow.
One day I feel I could fight against the whole world and I would win; that nothing is wrong, that all will be well. That despite the setbacks, life is kind and beautiful and can keep my heart warm forever. I want to live, to love, to laugh.
But hundreds of doubt are waiting to assault me, like a pack of wolves stalking a prey: they know when to attack, which one is the weakest. Am I doing the right thing? Am I making a fool of myself? Am I being selfish? Do we have the right to be happy if that means others’ suffering? How much happiness are we allowed to feel without paying a price for it?
Too many questions. I’m not even sure if I really want to know the answers.